I spoke with a female small business owner the other day and noticed something disturbing. She was very passive when talking with me, even about normal topics. She turned statements that should've stayed statements into questions. Asked if “that” was ok with me repeatedly, or if I approved of what she was saying.

And it dawned on me.

Many women have a hard time tooting their own horn about daily “life” stuff, let alone what they get paid for. And this desire for outside approval shows up in conversation if you pay attention. Not being able to toot your own horn is exactly why many women business owners never reach their big break. They end up working themselves to the bone for peanuts.
 

What does passive communication look like?

Ever notice some women try to “soften the blow” by being less direct? They're more flowery or “gentle” when writing or selling. An air of apology floats around, as if they wait for when they’ll have to say sorry for expressing thoughts. You've encountered that situation before. It's rather uncomfortable to hear without realizing why.

To show what passive communication looks and sounds like, read the example sentences below. They're embellished to make it clear.

• You’ll surely have to attend to the commitment of stepping up to your life’s purpose.

• I’m writing to you in regards to the new course program you will be releasing in the near future to inquire for more information on how I may obtain the program.

• I was spending a lot of my time just floating passively through life, never having the desire to look at what was occurring around me, just simply idling by.

• I am a health coach that is offering women of a variety of ages to have the chance to turn their lives around and start the process of letting go of what’s been holding them back.

A bit over-the-top but you get my point.

Many women are automatically apologetic when talking about something they’re passionate about. Or they'll tiptoe around the main topic forever, until they land on the point several sentences in. This mode of communication doesn’t bode well for business when you have to ask for what you want directly.

Being more direct in the above instances would look like:

• Step up to your life’s purpose now.

• I’m interested in your course. Please send more information.

• I floated through life, blind to what occurred around me.

• I’m a health coach that offers women of all ages the chance to release what holds them back.

See how those rewrites are right to the point? Boom. Boom. Bam. Message delivered.
 

Ok, so why is it important to recognize passive communication in business?

Passive communication is cancer to business success. That’s why.

It seems like passive communication is the way to go sometimes, right? You don’t want to come across too pushy or aggressive. So you’re indirect in asking for the sale or telling the customer why they should pick you over competition. When things seem like they’re going south, you quickly apologize or loosen boundaries. This put you on the fast track to pushover status.

What do you get when you mix a pushover business owner and sales?
Goose eggs in the bank account.

Businesses that use passive communication have trouble flourishing. Marketing is ALL about sharing what you do, why you do it, and why consumers should bother with you in particular. If you have trouble directly talking about how amazing you are, those folks are gonna move on.
 

What stops passive communication and ups sales?

Awareness and practice. Speaking with passive communication is harder to recognize in the moment. So, it’s best to start with your marketing materials. Review what you’ve written. Go line by line and see if you can think of a more direct sentence for the one you’re reviewing. You don’t have to change every single line if it means stripping away your personality. But, try to pare down your writing as much as possible.

Direct writing connects better with your readers. It packs more punch and helps them think less. (Shhhh...don’t tell them that last bit!) You'll be more aware of what direct communication looks and sounds like if you review your writing in detail . In time, direct writing will become natural to you. And you’ll be speaking with a direct message sooner than later.

With this new form of communication, you’ll position yourself as a confident and knowledgeable industry leader. This reflects in your marketing materials, which brings in more sales. And who would turn down more sales? Not me.